I just realized why I never purchase movies. Here is why: Every time I purchase a “new” as in “just been released” movie, someone borrows it. Turns out, they rarely give it back. I forgot about this occurrence, but here I am, years after the last time I purchased a DVD, without the DVD to show for it.

If, in the future, I purchase any new movies, no, I am sorry, you may not borrow it. You can watch it with me, at my home, though. I still like you.